Jared Allen Would Do Two Chicks At The Same Time

This is old news, but the Vikings made a big trade Tuesday. They sent Kansas City their first first round pick (No. 17) and two third round selections (No. 73 and No. 82) in this weekend's draft for DE Jared Allen. It was a high price to pay, but Allen is one of the premier defensive ends in the league and is still in his prime. The Vikes were probably going to take a DE with their first round pick anyway, so instead of risking big money on a rookie, they made an all-pro defensive end the highest paid defensive player in NFL history. It seems like a good trade for both sides, as the Chiefs have some rebuilding to do, and the Vikings are trying to capitalize on the potential of Adrian Peterson. The press conference to introduce Allen was Thursday and some Minnesotta newspapers were a little confused as to who the guy was that recieved the #69 jersey at the podium. Did Lawrence from Office Space just go from doing the drywall up there at the new McDonald's to a $13 million dollar a year defensive end?

Allen, or Lawrence, gets $31,000,069 guaranteed in the contract.

Why did he have them tack on that extra $69? Well, it's his jersey number, and has a couple other meanings that are probably best saved for a Blammitty Blam post, but mainly it was his girlfriend's idea and he thought it was gah-dahm "hilarious."



One Droo Hill promises to find a pic of Allen's girlfriend. A chick that suggests having an NFL team tack on an extra $69 to a $30 million contract is probably down for just about anything. And I appreciate open-mindedness.