Bada Bing. Bada Boom. Blammitty Blam.

1. Emmanuelle Chriqui. You might know her as "Sloan" from Entourage. I like that she's not very popular, though it's hard to understand (too fine to be unknown). It makes me think we have a special relationship. Like, if I was having a party she'd be one of the first girls I'd call. I'd be like "Hey I'm having some people over. You coming?" And she'd be like "Oh totally. I was already planning on it. I'm on my way." We'd laugh and tell funny stories and make fun of the strangers at the party. Then she'd totally stay late night because she "doesn't want to walk home." And she'd just happen to sleep with me, and I'd make some moves, and we'd take our friendship to a whole new level. Yep.

2. Mandy Moore. I re-watched a couple episodes of Entourage the other night, if you haven't guessed. Mandy Moore, who doesn't work as a "Mandy" or "Moore" but only "Mandy Moore," has a four episode-long relationship with Vince. She ends up breaking his heart. Her unconscionable cuteness has, I'm sure, broken a lot of hearts. I'm trying to think how to quantify her "career." Movie star? Not really. She's been in a couple indy flicks. Music? That's laughable. TV Star? She was in four episodes of Entourage, and an once got Punk'd. Not exactly a star. How does she make money these days? I wish I was a super hot girl. You should too. Then you wouldn't have to read this crap.

3. Chrissy Schwartz. You don't need a full body shot to know she's got it going owwyyn. MTV needs to do a third season of Newport Beach, or 'da Port, as I like to call it. If not, they should do a Hills-type spin off where they follow this girl's fake job and fake relationships. They could fly me out for a date. I'd read off the script... for the most part.

Happy Mother's Day!

A Fresh 3 I Would Totally Blammitty Blam

1. Erin Andrews. This is a sports blog, isn't it? How has she not been mentioned on this site? She's the biggest thing in the sideline reporter world since... uh... well actually she has set the bar as far as sideline reporters go. She's good at her job and beauuutiful (hot).

2. Mila Kunis. She hasn't done much since That 70s Show ended, but is busy doing magazine spreads to promote her new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It's a Judd Apatow flick, the guy who did Freaks and Geeks, Knocked Up, Superbad, 40 Year Old Virgin, so it's probably worth seeing. You know what else is worth seeing? Pictures of Mila Kunis! (I'm retarded).

3. Julianne Hough. I've seen Dancing With the Stars only once (I swear) and it was enough to notice that one of the professional dancers is a hotter Carrie Underwood with a touch of Kate Hudson. (I could do that all day. Anybody looking for a guy that can do that? Because I have that skill.) It's hard to find good pictures of her outside of the Dancing With the Stars stuff. Julianne's a Mormon, so I guess that means she doesn't do sexy photo shoots, though I'd like to think her suppressed childhood will one day turn her into a fiesty little sexual deviant. I'd like to think that. After all, she's only 20 years old. She has a budding music career, so let's all root for that. You don't make it onto TRL without a scandalous video. She'll figure that out soon and then... it's party time. Call me, girl. I can dance a lil' bit, or at least I can do this:

Current Top 3 I Would Blammitty Blam

1. Elisha Cuthbert. Making a fine comeback. Fine. Fine. Fine. And yes, I do consider a spread in Maxim a comeback, just as I consider a sex-tape a breakthrough. Sup Kim Kardashian?

2. Jenna Fischer. I don't watch The Office much, but I've seen it enough to appreciate this:

3. Marisa Miller. She matched her underwear to her heels. Look closely. Click on the picture if you need to enlarge it. Check out her bra-strap. How cool is that? Hopefully she's considered a trendsetter.